covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
