you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
