so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
