it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
