You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize