stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize