how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
