Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
