so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize