I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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