I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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