I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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