This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
