That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize