you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
