Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
