great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
