The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
