Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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