So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
