i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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