i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
