no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
