I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
