I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
