Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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