8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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