I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
