I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
