Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize