Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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