OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
are you so shy because you have an std?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
