Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Welp...herpes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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