in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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