Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
now i know why i became what i already was.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
