i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
