I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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