Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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