is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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