grandma shit on top of the toilet
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
