It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
