After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
