I am puke
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
