dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
