Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
