I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
