Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
