Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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