I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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