I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize