everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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