Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
