Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Farmville is her only friend.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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