I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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