Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
