i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm just crazy horny about you
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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